Ok if anyone has been following along now for some time 

I think you may have started noticing some kind of pattern in these blogs. 

I feel like I have nothing new to say other than my same old same old. 

Just me still here, still craving the old ways

& resisting these new ways. 

So of course I love hobiyee & how they celebrate the old ways! I wrote about last years too that you can read here. 

Hobiyee {Ho-be-yeh} is a celebration of the waxing crescent moon, during the latter part of winter, each year. The Nisga’a People of North Western British Columbia, watch for the positioning of the moon and the stars as a prediction of the coming harvest. Hobiyee is celebrated wherever Nisga’a people live. Like many other communities, they celebrate the New Year with family, friends and community. 

I've been back working in wellness part time in my communities on the coast and this work can get heavy. 

I'd been feeling far off balance lately and wondering what it must be like to 

have different jobs

like at the fish plants 

or bird researchers

or someone who paints houses  

or works at McDonalds. 

But then I remember,

"Oh yah, I had all those jobs and got fired from most of them" LOL

So, I'm in health and wellness where no one has fired me yet. 

Anyways I've been needing something to tame this fire in me,

so as always culture to the rescue.   

Last week I was certain I was going to throw in the towel with this work, 

It was simply too heavy & I had no more lift. 

Then I had dinner with these amazing young humans from Tla-o-qui-aht 

and what'da know?

They threw the towel right back at me and reminded me to keep fighting. 

To stay in the ring. 

To sweat it out. 

To tear it out. 

They totally lifted my spirits and made me want to stay. 

I admired how strong their spirits were and soaked in all their energy. 

I admired their teachers and the traditional teachings they were being taught and thought

YAASSSSS, every youth deserves to have this! 

Every youth deserves to know

who they are

where they come from 

& 

where they belong. 

 So they kind of stole me & I drove like a mad women to make their performance at hobiyee. 

I woke up extra early & gave myself extra time for the construction 

which held me longer than ever! I had to speed to make the ferry with no time to stop for some much need fuel! 

So I arrived on fumes at Hobiyee right at 1pm thinking it was a miracle I made it on time! 

Only to arrive to them singing their last song as they went on earlier than expected :( 

But oh well! I wasn't going to ruffle my feathers!  

Last year when I went I thought,

I'm go see all the northern nations perform cause I get to see home perform all the time. 

but this year I've been missing my home. 

Missing my family. 

Missing my culture. 

So I traveled all the way to the city just to watch my home. 

do what they do. 

I've seriously been stressed to the max so getting to the circle was imperative for my own well being.  

it was instant healing. I could feel my heart beating back to normal rhythms. 

It was like a switch that had been turned off in me for a long time

& suddenly the lights were back on!

Oh yah, this is who I am. This is where I belong. This and these are my people. 

It doesn't matter how many times I've heard the songs or seen the dances, 

that's an old that always keeps me feeling new. 

There were songs and dances that I hadn't heard or seen since way back when my hair was still black. 

I watched these youth sing songs that their grandparents once sang. 

I watched them dance the same dances that their grandparents once danced.

Actually when I watched them, I did see their grandparents in them.

Robear Thomas & Fred Thomas how they used to really dance when they sang. 

Flossie Atleo, how she was always in a rhythm with the beat of the drums, her and Trudy seemed to have a secret synchronicity!

So I am happy I paddled all the way to the city just to visit my home. 

You know when you're away from home,

like far away & you see people from home (ish) & it makes you feel somehow closer to home and or more connected? 

Ok that was me with Tseshaht! It isn't home but they felt like home & I straight up cozied into their circle. 

They have this song that I'm hoping to share (if ok?)

It's one that always shifts my energy and though I am not Tseshaht, it always makes me want to dance!  

I feel like I've watched them the last few years & it feels like they've really grown!  

They seem to be singing louder and stronger.

They seem to be strengthening their circle and preparing their next generations to raise the roofs! 

Either way it was so beautiful to see, hear and feel them raise their roots & the roof! 

I never knew this little one but I so wanted to squish and steal this little munchkin!

He wanted to come and be my assistant :) 

So I'm grateful as always for being able to squish into circles. 

To dance under moons & see all these stars!  

And so even though the thought crossed my mind to just stay home & rest.

I am sooooo glad my son pushed me out the door. 

Mom, let's go we'll catch the early ferry, you can still make it to watch TFN.

So even though I missed them

I still got to see all these!   

I still got to hear about our women, our girls and Mother Earth 

and how they must be taken care of.    

I still got to see my friends even if just through the lens!  

So thank you Nisga'a for reminding us that our lives have always revolved around

the moon. 

The elders.

The language. 

The ceremonies. 

The children.  

You remind us to all look up 

to Watch the moon

& 

know we are all stars. 

 Stars Just Waiting for the eulachons.

 & Watching for the salmon. 

because those will always be where we home.